정규 · 낭독

I'm Sorry (You're Welcome)

Eugene Mirman

2015-10-30 · 540곡 · 4시간 29분

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기준 릴리스: I'm Sorry (You're Welcome) (2015-10-30) · Official

디스크 1

Introduction, a Gift From Derrick

3:31

Some Jokes That Have to Do With My Girlfriend, a Hotel in Boston, a Man in Provincetown, Twitter, Time Vs. Timing, a Neck Pillow

5:00

Sub Pop Showcase at SXSW

1:56

Ask a Pastor

3:03

Some Jokes That Touch Upon Religion, Guitar Center

3:04

A Linkedin Profile

2:39

The Time I Was Mugged in Mexico With Michael Stipe

5:48

Girlfriend, Khaleesi, Any Questions, Making a 'Zine

3:50

Contacting Celebrities on Facebook

4:18

Not Happy With a Parking Ticket I Got in Portsmouth, NH

7:59

Paintings I Made to Showcase at My Local Whole Foods

2:29

I Marry a Couple From the Audience on Stage

7:05

디스크 2

Welcome to the Meditation, Please Get Comfortable

3:22

The Body

2:26

Feet & Legs

1:55

Tummy, Doodle & Hoo-Hoo

2:54

Heart

2:54

Throat, Arms & Hands

2:41

Head

1:51

Thank You Body, Simple Ways to Relax

3:14

디스크 3

Introduction

0:16

Horse

0:04

Horse Galloping

0:07

Horse III

0:08

Duck

0:04

Duck II

0:08

Dog

0:05

Cat

0:07

Cat Purring

0:09

Cat Asking for Directions

0:09

Two Sheep Arguing

0:10

Mice Making Fried Rice

0:06

Bear

0:04

Wolf

0:07

Fox Embarrassed About His Boner

0:07

Giraffe Sleeping

0:08

Turtle

0:04

Turtle II

0:09

Chicken Prostitue Haggling

0:13

Shark

0:05

Toilet Flushing

0:08

Blender

0:08

Automatic Door Opening

0:06

0:04

0:06

0:08

0:09

0:08

0:07

Telephone Falling on the Ground

0:09

Shower Running

0:08

Crackling Fire

0:09

VCR Ejecting a Tape

0:06

Group of Businessmen Agreeing

0:18

Baby Locked in a Dresser

0:09

Fart

0:04

0:06

0:09

0:12

0:12

0:05

Screaming Woman Who Sounds Like a Man

0:07

TV Audience Clapping at Food

0:11

Drum Circle

0:14

Rave

0:10

Last Guy at a Rave

0:09

Train

0:06

0:07

0:08

0:07

0:04

Feeling for a Ripe Avocado

0:06

Jihadist After Seeing About a Boy

0:07

0:08

0:06

0:06

0:05

Italian Person Eating a Pizza Pie

0:07

Naturalized Immigrant Doing a Job You Are Unqualified For

0:10

Abortion Doctor Enjoying a Candy Bar

0:10

Grand Wizard Can't Find a Sock

0:06

Powerful Senator

0:09

Powerful Senator II

0:11

Fighter Plane

0:06

Ambient Noise in an Airplane

0:12

Airplane Flying

0:10

Police Siren

0:07

Police Siren in Europe

0:08

Police Siren in Belgium

0:08

Gun Shot

0:04

Machine Gun

0:05

.357 Magnum Inside a Watermelon

0:11

Gays in the Military

0:06

Thunder

0:05

Rain

0:10

Hurricane

0:10

Blizzard

0:09

Snowing

0:11

Sentient Robot Going About His Daily Business

0:14

Computer Downloading a File

0:10

New Email

0:04

Traffic

0:11

Kids Playing in the Park

0:14

Kids Playing in the Park II

0:10

0:10

0:07

0:06

0:18

0:11

Someone Controlling Technology by Waving Their Hands

0:14

Ronald Reagan Taking a Shower

0:09

Tacos

0:05

Fur Coat Getting Fucked by a Bunch of Cats

0:12

Tree Falling in a Forest

0:09

Jewish Person Saying "Oy Vey" Wrong

0:08

Summertime

0:07

People Being Diligent at an Ad Agency

0:10

Helicopter

0:06

Living Helicopter Complaining

0:10

100

Chinese Woman Eating Lasagna

0:11

101

Hero Returning From a Budweiser Commercial

0:10

102

Elephant Having Trouble

0:10

103

One of Those People on the Street Who Tries to Get Money

0:13

104

Telephone Calling a Toaster

0:13

105

Grasshopper Asking a Dog a Question

0:15

106

Shortwave Radio

0:12

107

Two Apples on a Rainy Sunday in the Fall

0:12

108

Dentist Having Sex

0:07

109

Panda at a Hotel

0:10

110

Birth Control Pills Telling a Little Boy Not to Eat Them

0:10

111

Cat That Doesn't Mind

0:09

112

Male Toothpaste Being Sneaky

0:08

113

Creamy Polenta Vs. Couscous

0:10

114

Old Man's Penis

0:10

115

Dial Tone

0:13

116

Museum That Needs to Use the Bathroom

0:12

117

Celebrity Agreeing to Take a Selfie

0:10

118

Guy Getting a Sweet Beej

0:12

119

Fire Hydrant That Doesn't Want Anyone to Know It's Anti-Semitic

0:13

120

Bellhop Who Got Stung

0:07

121

LGBT Party Where People Are Eating Sushi

0:16

122

LGBT Newsletter That Loves the Expendables Franchise

0:10

123

Sweaty Kid Crying About a Sandwich

0:08

124

Too Many Pieces of Paper

0:06

125

Puddle

0:04

126

Magic Clown Using His Powers

0:12

127

Wild Turkey Bragging About His Mansion

0:13

128

The Number 84 Explaining to the Number 52 That It Is Bigger but Not Better

0:11

129

Tape Recorder Being Used Wrong

0:09

130

Misogynistic Maple Trees

0:12

131

Apple Sauce Being Naughty

0:06

132

Safe Word

0:09

133

Two Pistols Sitting on a Shelf

0:08

134

Cookies Being Arrested

0:10

135

Sheep That Is Too Cute to Eat

0:13

136

Daughter Reacting to Her Mother Telling Her There Are Two Kinds of People in This World

0:11

137

Desk Covered in Hair

0:08

138

Person From 1870 Who Was Frozen in Time

0:14

139

Boy Who Loves Hammocks

0:10

140

Dustpan

0:10

141

A Billion Ants Writing a Complaint Letter

0:12

142

Two 20-Year-Olds Touching Their Winkies

0:09

143

Yellow Line That Divides Roads

0:09

144

Smell of a Pear

0:11

145

Group of Wealthy Men

0:13

146

Confused Child

0:07

147

25 Rats Sleeping

0:23

148

Flowers

0:07

149

Fishing

0:05

150

Boat

0:06

151

Mizzenmast

0:05

152

Bow

0:05

153

Stern

0:05

154

Basement

0:05

155

Rainbow

0:07

156

Telescope Being Defensive

0:08

157

Larry King Being Told Important Information

0:10

158

Well

0:05

159

The Moment a Well-Respected Author Wins the Guinness World Record

0:11

160

Salad

0:05

161

Little Girl Teasing a Lamp

0:09

162

Zoo With Nothing to Lose

0:09

163

Racist Stapler

0:07

164

Friendship Bracelet

0:07

165

Thor's Hammer, Mjölnir

0:08

166

Two Lost Fireflies

0:09

167

Humpback Whale

0:10

168

Elevator at the Empire State Building

0:13

169

Tip of a Billionaire's Penis

0:10

170

Brand New Pillows Covered in Blood

0:08

171

French Kids Picking Apples

0:08

172

Huge Pile of Dirty Shirts

0:11

173

Hotel Guest Falling Asleep Frustrated

0:11

174

Romneycare & Obamacare

0:16

175

The Nerve of Some People

0:04

176

Boner School

0:05

177

Spilled Milk That Found Out Its Son Died in a Car Accident

0:09

178

A Buzzfeed List

0:08

179

Two College Kids Subtly Trying to Figure Out Which One Is More Disadvantaged

0:11

180

Fox News & MSNBC

0:14

181

Amicable Divorce

0:05

182

Bing-Bong Ding-Dong Playing With Boom-Boom Doom-Doom

0:09

183

Snacks in Iraq

0:06

184

Telecommuting Cat

0:06

185

Nano-Horse

0:05

186

Hebrew Ray

0:07

187

Caldor Binge Drinking

0:11

188

Gender Roles on Their Way to a Football Game

0:09

189

Details

0:04

190

School Teacher Given Permission

0:12

191

High School Hockey Team Seeing 20 Years Into the Future

0:07

192

Cheese

0:07

193

Anna Kendrick Discovering an Underwater City

0:06

194

The Czech Republic

0:08

195

Drug Lord Feels Pretty Bad

0:07

196

Hotel Bed That Is Tired

0:08

197

Warm Handmade Boiled Bagels

0:09

198

Silly Billy Goat Got a Heroin Addiction

0:18

디스크 4

A Medically Reliable Introduction to Digital Drugs

0:25

Marijuana

3:00

Pcp

3:00

Heroin

3:00

Apple Cider Vinegar

3:00

Mdma

3:00

Lsd

3:00

Amoxicillin

3:00

Peyote

3:00

Amaretto Sour

3:00

Oxycodone

3:00

디스크 5

Crying

0:18

More Crying

1:32

Still Crying

17:51

I Simply Keep Crying

25:35

디스크 6

Welcome to My Russian Audio Phrasebook

0:36

Common Statements & Questions for Everyday Situations

1:57

Conversational Russian in the Workplace

2:17

Casual Phrases for Parties, Pubs & Outings

2:38

Proper Dinner Conversation for the Educated Guest

2:59

Small Talk With Strangers & Acquaintances in Public Spaces

3:00

Useful Phrases While on Vacation in Russia

2:49

Commonplace Subjects Within the Rich World of Academia

2:39

Polite Ways to Engage People of High Status

3:15

디스크 7

Enter the Fuckscape

3:07

Take a Ride on the Poon Schooner

3:19

I'm a Dirty Little Foreign Advisor

3:32

I Thought I Was the Pancake Man

3:46

You're a World-Class Pussy-Grifter

8:18

디스크 8

Intro to Ringtones

0:28

Phone Call

0:07

Vibrate Vibrate Vibrate

0:07

Ding-Dong Doodly-Doo

0:10

Waterfalls Shrimp Shrimp

0:08

Fiddle-Doddle-Doodle-Deedle

0:08

Doo-Doo-Pa-Dee-Da-Da-Pada

0:11

Phone Is Ringing

0:09

Friend

0:07

Love

0:12

0:13

0:06

0:05

0:06

0:05

Zippa-Dee-Doo-Da Zippa-Dee-Da

0:09

0:05

0:10

0:09

0:12

0:07

0:06

Unnnnnn

0:15

Auauauauauauau

0:10

Wouowowoooouuuooo

0:13

Whistle Ring

0:08

Trtrtrtrtrtrtrllllbbrrr

0:17

Vrrrvvvvvvvvvvbbbrrr

0:10

Hyeuueehuuyehyeheyehyeyeeuu

0:12

0:10

0:06

0:07

0:06

0:11

0:12

0:06

Susan Sarandon Is Calling

0:11

Colleague

0:06

Doodle-Doodle Hoo-Hoo

0:07

Hey!

0:06

Waffles

0:05

Fuckbuddy

0:06

Piano Cleaner

0:05

Bryan

0:06

Cream Cheese

0:11

Rabbi

0:06

Priest

0:04

I Can't Answer the Phone

0:16

Intro to Outgoing Voicemail Messages

1:08

Dr. Fart

0:11

Sarah

0:09

Social Anxiety

0:08

The Sizzle-Maker

0:13

Mittens

0:13

Kate

0:07

No Answer

0:07

Debbie

0:16

Andrew

0:07

Phil Donahue

0:04

Kaitlin

0:08

Old Man

0:06

Steve

0:07

Lucy

0:06

Judy

0:07

Megan

0:11

Leave Your Name

0:07

Kim

0:07

Tim

0:11

Miguel

0:08

Sebastian

0:05

Penicillin Dong

0:06

Thong McHacky-Sack

0:07

Matt

0:04

Katie

0:08

Confident Balls

0:08

Robert

0:10

0:06

0:08

0:07

0:08

I Can't Answer the Phone

0:04

0:10

0:06

0:10

0:13

Dawn

0:07

I Am a Doctor

0:08

Nick

0:09

Poodle

0:09

0:05

0:07

0:08

0:07

0:07

0:10

0:09

0:07

I Can't Answer the Phone (But I Want to)

2:15

디스크 9

Please Take Off Your Shoes

0:04

Don Draper Has the Flu

0:06

Moons Over Your Hammy

0:10

It's Not a Slumber Party Without Thor

0:04

Now My Back Hurts

0:04

Waffle House Parking Lot Mix-Up

0:13

Thank You So, So Much Mandy Patinkin

0:04

Oops

0:05

Sneaking Around the Zoo

0:08

Goodnight, Buddy

0:17

Baba Yaga Already Said She Was Sorry

0:06

Faxed to the Wrong Number

0:12

Linda Ronstadt Chillaxing

0:04

1960's Street Fight

0:05

Seriously Bro, You Just Made Me Goosh... Thanks

0:09

You Can Call Me Al (Not Song)

0:06

Don't Worry, This Man-Nanny Can Keep a Secret

0:11

The Best Misunderstanding

0:04

Whoa... Lookout, Sir Beast-Weasel

0:07

Kindhearted Fireman

0:06

Let's Put Our Intellectual Property Debate on Hold

0:04

Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. And Mrs. President

0:11

Ice Cream Hearts Melting in the Love-Sun

0:11

Offal for Lunch, Woo-Hoo for Dinner

0:24

Goofballs Having Silly Fun

0:09

The Jackal Never Misses!

0:10

Land-Grabber's Cousin Has Nice Upstairs

0:04

Mrs. Thunder/Mr. 80% Chance of Rain

0:07

Don't Mind If I Do...

0:11

Round One Goes to Princess-Rump

0:07

Happy and Stuffed

0:06

Just Another Guns n' Roses Brunch

0:06

Pleasant Surprise at Sleepaway Camp

0:07

Handsome Old Man Has a Tummy Ache

0:04

Have We Met?

0:11

No, Please... After You

0:08

Gimme Back My Bonnie Raitt CD... Actually, Keep It

0:10

Tollbooth Attendant Is Open-Minded

0:08

88% on Rotten Tomatoes

0:04

Mischievous Whoopsy-Daisy

0:13

Two Rascals Showing Off

0:28

48 and Flexible

0:06

That Was Worth It

0:13

Bandits Helping Around the House

0:04

Army Buddies Going Big-Ball Bowling

0:14

I'm the Autodidact of Amour

0:10

Oh, My Wife Knows

0:09

That Was the Best FTP I Ever Uploaded

0:13

The Healing Heart/Mother-In-Law

0:06

Just Two Doves at a Sweat Party

0:19

We Get Five Weeks' Vacation in Holland

0:05

Young Man Is an Excellent Executive Administrative Assistant

0:16

Two Adults in a Small Space

0:11

Dude, We're on the 5 O'Clock News

0:18

Www.Thepleasuresallmine.Gov

0:11

I Don't Have the Hiccups Anymore

0:08

Thank You for Allowing Me Access to Your Oven

0:15

These Goat-Like People Know Their Bodies!

0:08

Bill Clinton Is Still Quite Playful

0:10

I Could Sure Use a Glass of Water Now

0:09

The Kindness of Strangers

0:10

We're Registered at Bed, Bath & Behind

0:13

IT Department Doesn't Have a Care in the World

0:04

Brassy, Bald and Ejaculating

0:09

I Voted for McCain in 2000

0:10

New Car Smell, Old Car Feel

0:09

Paul Can Really Push Good

0:12

Stay in My Guest Room as Long as You Want

0:08

David and Joshua Mutual Pleasure Exchange

0:08

Doin' the Flip-A-Doo

0:05

Anti-Vaxxer "Saxophone" Relaxer

0:11

Germaphobe Does Not Mind

0:04

Very Sleepy Man Delivers on Promise

0:09

Fourscore and Seven Years of Happy-Happy

0:12

Fart Walrus

0:09

French Woman Enjoying a Danish

0:06

No Shirt, No Shoes - Service

0:12

With or Without You (Preferably with)

0:12

Shouts and Murmurs

0:04

Pilates Are Invigorating

0:12

I'll Take a Look at the Dessert Menu

0:08

The Last Rock Star

0:20

It's Noon Somewhere

0:04

My Bar Mitzvah Was Ten Years Ago

0:16

Community Bookstore Meet-Up Gone Good

0:05

Love Clean Up, Aisle One

0:13

Found Your Thing Using Mapquest

0:05

Divorced MILF at a Used Record Store

0:15

This Cheesecake Is Divine

0:04

Jam Session

0:16

Can't Find My Socks (Don't Want to)

0:05

Even Better Than an Associate Degree

0:13

I Went to School in the Boston Area

0:10

Happiness Is a Warm Dong

0:11

Square Hole, Triangle Peg, Plus Another Square Hole

0:20

Call Me Dr. Stardust

0:04

Now That's How a Puppy Should Sneeze

0:23

Fun Times Inside a Grain Elevator

0:04

Operation Cooch-Toot

0:17

100

Preggo!

0:04

101

My Parents Won't Be Home for a Year and Five Days

0:08

102

Sure, in There Is Fine

0:04

103

The Official Webcam of Yugoslavia

0:07

104

Last Entry Is at Three, but You Can Stay Til Six (!)

0:10

105

We Were Just Talking About You

0:09

106

Bridesmaid Cutting Loose at the Governor Bradford

0:09

107

Sophisticated?

0:10

108

We Deserve a Michelin Star

0:10

109

Mr. Mamet Showing Off His Special Forces

0:21

110

Soup Dumplings, Squish-Squish

0:07

111

How Very Hemmingway of You

0:04

112

Drinking Straight Out of Lust's Milk Carton

0:11

113

Amateur Anthropologist Makes Important Observation

0:15

114

Senior Year Hebrew School Mischief

0:08

115

I Wonder If This Was Allowed in Prussia?

0:13

116

Pretty Fun Night in Merrill C3 Short

0:07

117

Should We Take the Bridge or the Tunnel?

0:13

118

Dirty Boulevard

0:04

119

Is the Love-Falcon Available for Birthdays?

0:09

120

Portland, ME Is Cool... But Really Weird

0:10

121

The Wish-Maker Will See You Now

0:17

122

Head of Development Instructing Rugged Hiker

0:12

123

The Shenanigans You Requested

0:05

124

What Gusto!

0:10

125

Please Don't Make This About Harold Pinter (Again)

0:07

126

Wet Hot Americano

0:14

127

A Gentleman Never Reveals His Source

0:13

128

Glad the Town Approved Your Slurping Permit

0:09

129

A Mime Betrayed, a Mime Forgiven

0:10

130

Too Soon?

0:10

131

Please Be Quiet or You'll Wake Up My Titties

0:08

132

Never You Mind That

0:09

133

She Got a Real Candy Apple Poot-Hooter

0:10

134

Dolph Lundgren at That Top of His Game

0:08

135

Mustachioed Man Has Patience, Diligence

0:11

136

Two Gigolos, One Office Manager

0:10

137

Secretary of State Is Not Off-Putting

0:10

138

It Took Another Man's Wife to Make This Boy a Man

0:11

139

Nothing Goes to Waste

0:18

140

My Mouse Is Thankful for Your Mouse

0:11

141

Make Yourself at Home

0:04

142

Meet Me by the Condom Machine

0:05

143

I Feel Like I've Known You for Hours

0:13

144

Oh, I Thought You Wanted Something Else, Glad It Worked Out

0:06

145

Fire Your Dentist!

0:09

146

Postwar Japan Is Well-Understood by These Two

0:14

147

Gene Simmons Crying in a Pile of Shit

0:10

148

I'm the Only Lady Who Could Pull Excalibur Outta There

0:07

149

Rooting for Truffles, Miami Style

0:12

150

Businessman Has Ding-Dong Like Rocket Ship

0:07

151

Sally's in Charge

0:10

152

Too Much Pudding, Not Enough Spoons

0:10

153

The Turkish Parliament Has Approved This "Carrot-Man"

0:04

154

It's Raining Dan

0:08

155

It's Like Apples and Oranges (Fucking)

0:04

156

College Is Exactly What I Was Hoping It'd Be

0:20

157

Mentally Ill Farmer Is Finally Getting Help

0:04

158

A Swedish Couple Enjoying Hearty Vegetables

0:06

159

Vulnerable Oligarch Vulnerably Sexting

0:07

160

Best Friends/Next Level

0:09

161

Tooth Fairy Is Quite Real

0:05

162

Civil Disobedience Met With Heartfelt Understanding

0:14

163

A Textbook Case of Level-12 Pleasure

0:04

164

So Glad That Was You Behind Me

0:06

165

An Astoundingly Honest and Fun Salesman

0:04

166

Celebrating My Promotion With My Wife and Some Dude

0:11

167

Martha Washington? MMMM Hmmmm

0:08

168

Crammin' for the Jam Exam

0:10

169

I'm Glad We Waited Til Dusk

0:09

170

You Are as Powerful and Detail-Oriented as a River, Sir

0:04

171

Just a Couple of Lucky Special Ed Teachers

0:13

172

You're Like John Adams Times 1.5!

0:05

173

Babysitter Surprisingly Into Divorced Software Engineer

0:09

174

I Guess We'll Need a New Kitchen

0:08

175

Guilty Catholics Have to Marry Each Other

0:10

176

They Call Me the "You're Welcome Man"

0:30

177

Let's Get Your Mind Off of the Dust Bowl

0:07

178

So Relieved We Found This Abandoned Schoolhouse

0:07

179

File Under "The Rolling Stones"

0:06

180

No Need to Explain Your Clean Aqueduct

0:11

181

My Poon-Noodles Are Your Doon-Poodles

0:07

182

Two-State Solution With Benefits

0:07

183

My Skill Set Qualifies Me for This Position

0:10

184

Can't Tell If This Is Sex or Hockey

0:12

185

Have the Report on My Dick in the Morning

0:05

186

So This Is Medicaid?

0:07

187

Mature Cougar Is Addicted to Beej Pie

0:10

188

Abe Lincoln (Not That One) Is Ready for Fatherhood

0:06

189

Sure, You Can Use the Cat Door

0:08

190

No Senator, I Already Have Two

0:16

191

PTA Meeting Is Full of Joy and Wonder

0:06

192

Oh Peter, Thank You for the Yard Work

0:10

193

A Real Whodunnit!

0:09

194

Horace's Compromise

0:10

195

Plutocrats Got Feelings Too

0:08

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